


i need someone

by chensungs



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Underage Smoking, Unspoken Understandings, and chenle is a happy bub who just wants to be his friend, jisung is an angsty teen in this, one day i will learn how to tag, wannabe angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 11:26:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16136273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chensungs/pseuds/chensungs
Summary: jisung's bad with feelings and chenle's too cute for him to improve in that field





	i need someone

**Author's Note:**

> don't smoke kids it's bad for you (also one day i will write something without an open ending and where the other members appear / are at least mentioned in a less general way i promise)

The night sky is still bright even with all the stars being hidden by clouds, the full moon easily being to blame. The wind makes itself known ever so often but almost silently, only showing it's presence by occasionally shaking up his mess of silver hair. Jisung takes a deep inhale of his cigarette, gaze directed at the sky but not really focused on anything in particular. He isn't sure what time it is, but he does know it's at least been a few hours since he's checked his phone, and he should probably head home soon. That doesn't mean he's going to - even if the clouds above are hinting at a possible oncoming storm. He loves rain, and anything to distract him from the sound of his own breathing is more than welcomed.

Except the crunching of gravel from behind him. Jisung knows who it is, none of his friends care enough to leave the comfort of their warm beds to come meet up with him at this hour. He's not entirely sure of the brunette's motive either. He couldn't actually know Jisung was here (unless he was really was a stalker like Jisung always insinuated) or maybe just took his backhanded comment of ' _I consider this my get away place, but you're more than welcome to use it if you ever feel the need_ ' a little too seriously. Jisung really wouldn't put it past him. Chenle had missed all Jisung's other signals of simply not tolerating human interaction more than he was forced to. The steps eventually stop and it's only then Jisung decides to break the still air around them.

"Why are you so obsessed with me?"

Smoke leaves his mouth soon after the question does, and he watches with little fascination as it dissipates after a few seconds. The boy behind him sighs, clearly in disapproval and distaste, but just walks closer nonetheless.

"I don't think obsessed is the right word," Chenle halfheartedly corrects, plopping down all but gracefully right next to him. Jisung cringes at the dirt he can already imagine inevitably ending up on his jeans, and at the fact that they alone are probably worth more than his entire wardrobe. "Intrigued, maybe."

Jisung could never understand why. Even after plenty of interactions and 'coincidental' meetings he still can't wrap his head around Chenle genuinely just wanting to get to know him. Jisung wasn't a complete loner - he had a small friend group that he related to over their own unhealthy habits, but they were never as blunt as Chenle. He had this determination to him that no matter how hard Jisung pushed him away, he'd still come back around. It both comforted and annoyed Jisung to the greatest extent.

Their relationship was a strange one. Not quiet friends - Jisung would even hesitate to use the word acquaintances - just two people with a mutual regard for each other but only one who actually voiced it.

"You don't need to hang around people like me." Is his bland reply.

He thinks he hears and even sees Chenle scoot closer out of the corner of his eye, possibly solely motivated by spite, but looking over to verify might just shatter the hard exterior he's worded oh so hard to keep up since Chenle became a part of his everyday life, "What are 'people like you'?"

Jisung doesn't respond at first, taking an exceptionally large inhale of his cigarette for a good enough reason not to while pondering the question. Chenle always had a lot of them, he thinks, holding the smoke in his lungs for a good few seconds more before the burning becomes less pleasant.

"Just your average delinquent with a misunderstood disposition." The words are released in the same breath as the smoke. Jisung watches the ashes fall off the end of his cigarette as if it's suddenly the most interesting thing in the world and not the small boy beside him.

Truthfully, much like Chenle, Jisung found himself wanting to know more about the other as well. He was much more interesting, Jisung might even use the term weird. He didn't know much about Chenle's story other than the fact that he was the son of someone important back in China and his family was rather well off. That along with the fact that he for some reason found Jisung's daily life 'cool' and wanted to live freely like him. Chenle seemed more curious of the foreign lifestyle while Jisung thought of himself as the one whole heartedly intrigued - but obviously, he'd never admit that. At least, not directly.

"I'm willing to listening if you're willing to tell."

Jisung looks in Chenle's general direction out of the corner of his eye, not directly near his face, because his thoughts might overpower his own mind and make themselves known before he can stop it, "I'll tell a bit of mine and you do the same. You know, so it's fair."

It doesn't take Chenle much thought, as he nods in agreement only seconds later and turns his body to face Jisung, "Okay. Since I asked, you go first."

Jisung chuckles softly at the childish gesture, twirling the last bit of his cigarette in the dirt like a second nature. It's wasn't yet finished but there was really no use for it anymore, weed would be his only solace for not feeling as awkward and he sadly didn't have any with him at the moment.

"Well what do you want to know?" Jisung inquires, shifting a bit to get more comfortable. As comfortable as he can get when using a rock for a makeshift chair and a thin flannel being the only thing separating him and the ground.

Chenle hums in thought, visibly brightening when a starting point comes to mind. Jisung almost has to force himself not to smile, "Why do you smoke?"

Really Jisung should have expected that one coming, seeing that's the first question or sentence in general Chenle had ever said it him. It didn't prove to be a very good opener, and looking back Jsiung thinks he probably just said the first thing that came to his mind, but at the moment the only smartass response his angsty teenager self was able to reply was, ' _Because I want to, now fuck off_.' Chenle still spoke without thought more often than not, it was just a part of his stupidedly lovable character, but it's the first time he's reiterated that question up until now.

"I don't really know, it doesn't help me like it does others. Weed calms me down a lot, though, but it's harder to get and more expensive," Jisung shrugs, running a hand through his messy hair. "For cigarettes, the smoke is just... familiar, I guess. And I don't like change."

He'd always found comfort what he knew worked, wether it be in the people he conversed with or the places he visits. It explains why all his friends are of the handful he's known since forever, and why he was so reluctant to Chenle's abrupt and almost forced entry into his daily life.

Chenle nods, already clearly happier that he's getting answers, "I guess that makes sense. I don't like falling asleep without a light on even though I'm not afraid of the dark, it's just something I'm used to doing."

Jisung tries his best to push away the cuteness of that statement, and uses the courage he built up while finishing his cigarette to finally face Chenle. It doesn't help much with ignoring his natural quirks; Jisung doesn't think he's ever seen Chenle smile so wide, nor does he think he'll mind seeing it again.

"My turn." His position is noticeably less relaxed that Chenle's, resting unsure of social cues with someone he's been basically avoiding for weeks now and is suddenly accepting the interest in understanding. "Why are you so persistent on getting to know me?"

It's Chenle's turn to form an answer, pulling his legs up to rest his head on the instead. Even sitting their height difference is noticeable, and Jisung hates the flutter he feels in his chest at the fact. Everything Chenle said or did was endearing, even down the the little things like his hoodie covered hands and the way his pretty lips had a naturally pout to them when he was thinking. Jisung both loved and hated the way Chenle made him feel. It was something new, yet far from unpleasant.

"I'm not really good with making friends, so I thought trying to talk to some one else who seemed just as awkward as me might be the best way to try my luck," he says, right hand drawing aimless doodles in the loose dirt beside him. Jisung decides to pretend to overlook the diss made at his social inability to hold a genuine conversation, mostly because he knows it's true. "But you were so angry when you responded to me. Then every other time I tried get to know you, tried to start our first meeting over, you wouldn't let me. So I wanted to - still want to - know why."

Jisung nods, picking at the loose sewing on his jeans absentmindedly, "There's no real reason for it. As said earlier, I don't like change, that including additions. I'm also just bad at expressing myself."

The  _In other words I thought and still think you are the cutest human being I've ever_  
_seen hence why I feel as though I can't express affection in anything other than crude responses_ goes unsaid, but Jisung likes to think Chenle understands.

"So you don't hate me?" Chenle questions with a hopefully smile that shouldn't follow up such a pitiful question. Jisung frowns slightly, upset with himself for making Chenle feel that way.

That was another thing that was new, caring about how other people felt. Jisung went through each and everyday worrying about no one other than himself until he meet Chenle. Now he found himself sad at the thought of the older thinking Jisung hated Chenle. What in the hell was happening to him?

"I don't hate anyone," Jisung says. A little to quickly, as not even seconds pass when he recalls his adamant dislike for his third grade teacher. "Well... Not everyone." The drawl back successfully elects a laugh from the small boy, his head falling back and the beautiful sound falling from his throat carelessly. It was loud and unforgiving to any of his surroundings (Jisung's pretty sure he heard the crickets stop chirping in surprise at the sheer volume of it) which only makes him adore it even more. "I don't hate you, is what I'm trying to say."

"That's.. reliving. I almost stopped trying because I thought there was no getting over your distaste for me," Chenle sighed. He looks up to meet Jisung's eyes, of which the contact only lasts for a few moments before Jisung is the one to break it. His eyes are just as pretty as the rest of his existence and that fact is excruciating.

Jisung isn't sure what to do next. He feels the need to bid Chenle a quick goodnight and book it while he's still stunned from the sudden goodbye, but that's over powered by the want to stay and continue talking with Chenle until the sun meets the horizon. He wants to hid from these feelings as much as he wants to explore them, get to know Chenle more and more until he finds a good label for these sentiments. Chenle makes Jisung want to venture into uncharted territory, and that thought in itself is as scary as it is inciting.

"I'm glad you didn't." Chenle seems just as surprised as Jisung from the random confession, but quickly recovering like he always does and showcasing his million dollar smile. Jisung finds himself returning it, probably a little less graciously but it's the thought that counts, as he tries to think of a way to voice the inner turmoil he's been facing since their first encounter. "I'm interested in you too."  _Good enough_.

Chenle's smile only widens, letting their conversation fall silent at that. And for the first time the air surrounding them isn't awkward or tense, not even uncanny - it's surprisingly comfortable, filled with a (for the most part) unspoken understanding. The both gaze into the dark abyss of the starless sky, which Jisung notes looks lighter than it did earlier. They probably would end up sitting around until daylight, most likely in silence, but he didn't mind. Chenle's presence was enough in itself.

He spares a quick glance to the brunette, the action proving to be much easier to do when his chocolate orbs aren't directed at him. The small upturn to his lips is forever there, messy hair almost covering his eyes and head still resting on top of his knees. Chenle looks just as content as Jisung feels, and beautifully so at that.

Jisung turns away with a faint smile of his own, knowing this is a change he is willing to learn how to accept.


End file.
